Don’t forget that the instructions ask you to discuss and give your opinion. Where is your opinion? You have only done half of what is asked. You must not ignore the instructions. Your opinion must go in the introduction, the body and conclusion.
Also, I wouldn’t recommend using the “Holocaust” as an example of why people shouldn’t study history. It’s a very poor example. The Holocaust is a reason why people should learn history. I rarely comment on the type of examples given but I think you need to plan more carefully.
Also try to present equally well developed ideas which means keep your paragraphs more balanced.
All the best
Orwell held a broad—and decidedly negative—conception of nationalism, which might involve loyalties to something other than a nation-state. He had his fellow English intelligentsia of the 1940s in mind, but some of what he describes in his essay is easily recognizable in American nationalism of today. This includes not only the pursuit of ever more power but also a self-righteousness and a conviction that one's own way of doing things is superior to everyone else's and is universally applicable. As we engage in the worthy and pleasurable expression of patriotism—“devotion to a particular place and a particular way of life”—not only on the 4th of July but all through the year, let's stick with pure patriotism and, keeping Orwell's distinctions in mind, not let it get confused with our nationalism.